I don’t know how many times I’ve set goals for the new year that are a bit like a To-Do list. Which all adds up to…… boring!
It’s no good having a sense of achievement for things that don’t excite you or don’t make you feel the way you want to.
This year, rather than set New Years Resolutions that are boring (I’ll give up smoking, stop yelling at my kids, stop yelling at my partner, lose weight) and probably unlikely to be achieved, set yourself some New Years Resolutions that are focused on the feeling it will give you.
So instead of stopping smoking (which is taking something away) make it about how not smoking will make you feel – healthy, more attractive, free (from being ruled by an addiction).
Stop yelling at my kids could turn into peaceful, in control, and patient. So instead of trying really hard not to lose it at the naughty little critters, having to employ lots of self-regulation (which is in limited supply), and probably losing it at them and feeling double guilty after, you would be more likely to include things in your life that make you feel peaceful, in control and regulated. You might take up yoga, do my stress management course, or find some different disciplinary strategies.
Anyway you can see where I’m going.
Have a think about how you want to feel next year and see if you can plan for how to get that feeling.
Feel free to see me if you want to be coached on how.