For those of you that know me or if you actually read my blogs you would probably know that I’m a hopeless romantic. Yep – I love romantic novels. And movies. And happy endings.
I’m always a bit disappointed when I read articles by psychologists who have found that love is just a bunch of chemicals released in our brains. Boooo to you unromantic psychologists.
And it is…….. there is love at first sight. Ta da!!!!!
OMG!! I didn’t think I was crazy all those years when I was falling in love without having spoken. It really does happen that you totally resonate with someone without even speaking.
And now they know it happens in your brain.
There’s this thing called limbic resonance.
When we make eye contact with someone whose limbic system lights up in the same way as ours we go all gooey for each other. This happens because…..blah blah blah……scientific stuff……..blah blah blah.
Somehow our little brains are on the lookout for people who light up like us. And these tricky little brains find it through gazing into potential partner’s eyes – the windows to the soul. And voila – love at first sight.
But our eyes are also the windows to the nervous system. And as a double whammy for love at first sight – when your nervous system is in tune with someone else’s they’re even more appealing. And you feel even more connected to them and maybe even more in love with them – instantly!
Have you ever heard the expression “he lights up when she walks in the room”. Well it’s true. That’s what actually happens. When you have this limbic resonance with someone you DO light up. But you light up on the inside – in your brain. And only they can see it. And it happens through your eyes. See – another corny love thing – he only has eyes for you. How cool is that! I love corny when it comes to romance.
So your brain and your nervous system have told you that this is ‘the one’. How does it all go so wrong from there?
Well…… (I knew they’d have to put the doom and gloom at the end of something so amazing)……. apparently our nervous system and brain are looking for something similar to but better than what they already know as familiar. Do you know where the word familiar comes from? Yep – you guessed it – family. So this awesome, “it’s like I’ve known him for years” guy basically reminds you of (and probably has a similar brain set-up to) your family.
Now even if you have the best family in the world, they’re gonna push your buttons more than most other people you come across. So – therein lies the problem. Mr or Mrs Love at First Sight ARE familiar. And they will probably have familiar problems and habits that you’ve been trying to get away from.
That just got me thinking. Does that mean that you will always be instantly attracted to someone who is like your family? Please kill me now then.
But wait……. there is something called limbic revision. Yep – your limbic system can learn to look for resonance in someone different from and better than your family.
If you start paying attention to how you feel in the familiar patterns with familiar (love at first sight) people. And you start to recognise when that feels good and when that doesn’t. And then you start to get real sassy with yourself and let yourself know in no uncertain terms that you will ALWAYS say not to what does not feel good for you. Then you can start to change. And your limbic system will change with you.
And then you get to have good relationships. And who wouldn’t want that?
Ahhhhh. I love a happy ending!