If it’s one thing I see over and over it’s that problems in a relationship lead to problems with just about everything else. It can affect:
- self-esteem
- mood – including feeling depressed and/or anxious
- motivation
- other relationships
- and the list goes on.
There are three things necessary for a great relationship – openness, attunement, and responsiveness. We need to be open about our feelings, our needs and open to being influenced by our partner. We need to be able to tune into our partner, to sense when they need our support, to listen to them without getting defensive. We need to respond to our partner – be there when they need us, respond to their requests for emotional connection and support.
With these three ingredients we construct a relationship that provides
- a sense of security
- is somewhere we can can emotionally refuel,
- gives us the confidence to be our best in the world and
- gives us a safe haven that we can rest and recharge in.
Some couples naturally create this safe, connected relationship. For the rest of us a bit of guidance can come in handy. That’s where counselling can help – even if your partner doesn’t want to join in.
It is definitely easier to heal your relationship distress together but it’s not impossible to vastly improve it on your own.
Counseling for relationship issues can help if:
- you’re fighting like cats and dogs
- you’re wondering “is this working?”
- you’re wondering if you’re meant to be together
- you’re unhappy in the relationship but think “if only this could change”
- there has been an ‘incident’ that has broken trust
- or you’re secretly thinking your partner is the problem
Be prepared for some practical strategies and some education on what you need to build a strong, loving connection in your relationship.
For those of you who like to know the theories and techniques – I base a lot of my relationship advice on Attachment Theory with some practical strategies from Emotion Focused Couples Therapy and John Gottman’s work. These styles combine to get to the heart of the emotional problems in your relationship and also give you practical, research based strategies that happy couples have been shown to use.
If you want to heal your relationship issues, call to book an appointment.
0404 273 149
or 07 5575 6262
I’d love to hear from you
If you want couples or marriage therapy with your partner I may be able to recommend someone suitable.
My favourite recommendation is Jonathan Swan. I’ve only ever had great feedback about him. If you want to know more about him here’s the link to his website