I have to say, when I see someone reach the F*ck It Zone, I find myself very pleased.
This is the zone where people say “F*ck it, I am so over being a people pleaser” or “F*ck it. I’m sick of this anxiety stopping me from living my life” or whatever it is that particular person is done with.
This is a very important place to reach. This is the place where we start to make important changes. Because, quite frankly, we’re so sick of dealing with our own crap that we’re willing to do anything to change.
You could maybe think of it as the point where we have nothing to lose. Where the pain of remaining the same outweighs the fear of doing new things. And we can use this pain to our advantage.
On a very basic level, we’re driven by the desire to avoid pain and move towards pleasure. So when one pain becomes worse than the alternative, that’s when we’ll take the risk to change.
If you’ve reached the F*ck It Zone with anything, you can use this handy human drive to maintain the changes.
Let’s say you’re over people pleasing and want to set better boundaries. You’re really nervous about saying no to a friend’s request for you to do something for them, but you’re really trying to stay in the F*ck It Zone and not give up on yourself.
To use ‘away from pain and towards pleasure’ AND stay in the Zone, you can remind yourself how much more painful it would be going through with the thing you don’t want to do, as opposed to how good it will feel to have backed yourself and said NO.
And then to add another brain hack in, give yourself a big reward when you’ve done it so your brain will want to do it again.
Knowing you’re getting a reward will be another pleasure to move towards as well.
If you haven’t reached the F*ck It Zone and you’d like to, start thinking about the thing you want to change and the pain it causes in your life. Go into every tiny minute detail about it’s yuckiness. Then focus on how good life would be if it changed. Get right into the nitty gritty here too.
Then start with teeny tiny changes.
Small changes over time make big differences.